Making Feedback Low Stakes, High Frequency
Last week I wrapped up a large undertaking - training 2,000 employees on delivering effective feedback. Today I’d love to share with my fellow leaders some of my musings on feedback.
I started each training session by sharing my journey with feedback. I royally sucked at giving and receiving feedback in the early part of my career. Who made me a manager at 22 and thought my feedback abilities would be on point??
Where my journey has brought me is I’m now the leader who gives so much feedback that it’s a non-event. It’s no big deal. In fact, last year I had one team member tell me that he expected at least 1 nugget each day to help him incrementally be his best and be challenged.
We stereotypically think of feedback as high stakes and low frequency.
What if we shifted that?
What about making feedback low stakes and high frequency?
I’ve found the key to enabling this shift is two fold: build the relationship and master your transition.
Building the Relationship
What’s your relationship with each of your team members? Who are the most important humans in their life? What are they passionate about? What are they wanting for their career?
To what extent have they gotten to know you? Your life? Your strengths? Your vulnerabilities?
I ask these as they’re the foundation of deeply caring and trust.
Damn if it’s not a heck of a lot easier to boost your feedback frequency when you know each other and know the feedback is coming from a true place of care for their well being.
Master Your Transition
How you enter into these interactions matters.
How many of you have gotten a ping that sounds like: “Hey, you got a minute? Can I give you some feedback?”
Does your heart race? Yes! Our intellectual brain knows this will be good for us. Our emotional brain freaks out. If I had to guess, the average adult’s heart rate likely jumps 30-40 beats even just hearing the word “feedback.”
So help your team members out and try these on for size:
I’d love to give you quick coaching…
I’m seeing something that has potential to hold you back from being as successful as you want to be, mind if I share?
I’m seeing an opportunity to take ___ to the next level, have a minute?
I’m seeing an opportunity to bring this from a B+ to an A, interested in what I’m thinking?
I want to challenge your thinking…
I want to bring attention to a potential blindspot…
I’d like to stretch your thinking with additional ways to look at this. And because I have high expectations and I know you can reach them, this will be great for your development. Do you have a few minutes to dive in?
What do you find to be your keys to creating a feedback culture that’s low stakes, high frequency?
If you’re not there yet, what would help you begin to shift?
Let me know what this sparks for you with your own people management and leadership!
