The Right Way To Fire Someone
Today I’m sharing the right way to fire someone.
I’m going to hit on:
How to know it’s time
Best practices
How to share the news
And first, a quick story…
I’ll never forget it.
It was the single question that changed how I approached terminating a team member.
It was this:
“Will they be surprised?”
I had the paperwork on my desk. I was itching to get rid of this person.
They were combative. They resisted all training. They were a loose cannon.
A pain in my ass if I’m really being honest.
Then my leader asked: “Will they be surprised?”
And the honest answer was “yes.”
I’d given some feedback, but not the type of feedback where termination was a natural next step.
This was a management low point for me. Not my finest moment. And it also helped me ultimately become a really strong manager of performance.
(Yes, that person ultimately became incredibly successful in the role…good thing I didn’t let them go!)
How To Know It’s Time
I think about 2 main things when considering if I need to begin managing someone out.
First, would I rehire them?
If I were hiring for their role, would I rehire them back into the role? If my answer is no, it’s my first clue to consider their longer term ability to be successful in the role.
Secondly, I think about trajectory alignment with business needs.
Are they improving at a rate that they can still meet the needs of the business?
Or is the pace of business eclipsing their speed of improvement?
I’ve found myself in many situations that if we had 6 months, or a year, for them to develop, then they could maybe grow to be successful. But the pace and demands of the business were not in a position to be able to wait that long.
It’s generally here where we struggle.
We like the person, they’re trying super hard, and we really want it to work.
A kind reminder: no one likes to struggle.
If you know the role and business are demanding more than they’re capable of, and their pace of improvement is not keeping up, the kindest thing to do in the long run can be to move them out of the role.
Termination Best Practices
A couple things here:
HR is not the enemy
Dignity & grace
No surprises
First, HR shouldn’t be the enemy.
I hear it far too often: “HR won’t let me fire them.”
Here’s how to shift that narrative:
Anticipate their questions.
They’re going to ask:
What’s been their reaction to hearing they’re struggling/missing the mark?
What coaching have you already given to help them turn it around?
How long have you been coaching them this way?
What paper trail is already in place to illustrate these interactions?
It’s pretty simple.
Of course they aren’t going to let you terminate someone when you haven’t been having clear conversations that their performance/behavior/engagement is not meeting the mark.
Next, no surprises and nail your documentation.
I've documented just about every performance/tough conversation over the last 15+ years.
Here’s the thing, documentation should not be scary. Nor should it be a mysterious and threatening “file” you keep on everyone.
Instead…
View documentation as a way to ensure you’re both speaking the same language. It's a kind and clear email or Slack to illustrate your support of them along with the agreed upon actions.
Then should a performance/behavior issue continue, you can easily search for those emails or DMs, screenshot, and put into a doc to show your HR partner the progression and story of what’s been happening.
Finally, dignity and grace.
I can’t underscore this enough.
When parting ways with someone, ensure they’re walking away with their dignity and you’re treating them with grace.
This goes for after their departure as well.
People will begin to share more about their misses or gaps, preserve their dignity and treat them with grace by not engaging and simply sticking to it not be a good mutual fit.
How To Share The News
Assuming you’ve been having frequent conversations about their performance/behavior and the needs of the business, the conversation is straightforward.
It could sound like this:
“Thank you for making yourself available for this call. We’ve made the difficult decision to part ways with you and today is going to be your last day.”
And because you’ve been actively managing the situation, there likely won’t be a huge surprise.
Frankly, at least 90% of the people I’ve terminated have had a look of relief on their face.
Relief because it’s hard knowing you’re struggling. And relief that now they have an answer and they can put energy into finding something they can succeed with.
And for the 10% of my terminations that have had reactions, it’s important to remember that it’s not a negotiation. Their employment is not up for debate in this discussion.
Handling the reaction might sound like this:
“I can appreciate this isn’t what you wanted to hear today. And while I’m grateful for the efforts you’ve been putting in over the last 2-3 months, the needs of the business are outpacing your improvements and we’re needing to part ways.”
Your HR representative also usually steps in at this juncture as well.
What should you say to your team?
Keep it short and remember dignity and grace.
It might sound like this:
“Hey team…I have an important update to share. We’ve made the difficult decision to part ways with ___. This is likely not a surprise as you know how hard they were working to see greater success in their role. I’m grateful for the effort they put in and the demands we’re seeing within this business made it clear to me that it was time to part ways. Of course, if anyone has individual questions, please let me know as I’m happy to settle any nerves or concerns that this brings up.”
Every single time I have shared this message, do you want to know what I got as reactions?
“Makes sense.”
“Yeah, they were unhappy.”
“Oh good, I was picking up their workload.”
There you have it…steps to set you up for greater success when you need to terminate a team member.
Comment below with any follow up questions or thoughts you have!
