Word Choices to Strengthen Your Leadership

Plain and simple - our word choices matter.  The words we choose in critical moments can change the outcome of the interaction.

What about these?

I love you, but you’re driving me nuts.

I love you, and you’re driving me nuts.

You’re my top performer, but you need to work on your organization.

You’re my top performer, and you need to work on your organization.

What do you notice?  The simple difference of using “but” negates everything you said before.  When you use the word “and,” both statements within the sentence can still be true.

As you think about tough conversations you’ve recently had or are needing to have, both personally and professionally, consider how a single word can impact the meaning and reception of your message.  Let’s explore another couple examples.

We vs They

They want us to beta test xyz.

We get to beta test xyz. 

Using “they” in this capacity sends a subtle message to your team that you’re not on board with the beta test.  Even if it’s a change or process you disagree with, your change management will struggle greatly when your team knows.  

The strongest leaders and managers present a united front and influence change without diminishing the confidence team members need to have in broader company leadership.

Why vs What

Why was the deadline missed?

What’s the story behind the missed deadline?

Anyone else immediately get defensive reading the “why” version?  “Why” questions put people immediately into a place of searching for a defensible reason for something happening.  You can reduce the wall people put up by strategically leveraging “what” instead.

No vs Yes, and

No, that’s not going to work because we’re going to hit abc as a hurdle.

Yes, and another consideration for us to think about is xyz as we’re likely to hit abc as a hurdle.

How does it feel to have your idea shot down?  Not awesome. As a leader, you need your team members speaking up and sharing solutions to business challenges.  By responding with “yes, and..” you’re keeping the door open for their contributions while also entering into a teaching moment for blindspots with what they’re proposing.

Now that your wheels are turning with these examples, where else can precision be brought to word choices to maximize how your messages land and how you’re seen as a leader?

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash