Get More Upward Feedback With These 2 Actions
Envision this…
You're wrapping up a 1:1 with a relatively new team member, and you ask, “Do you have any feedback for me? Anything I could be doing better in managing you?”
If you were a betting person, what do you bet the response is 90+% of the time?
You guessed it:
“Not that I can think of!”
Maybe you're relieved, afterall, you asked the question and they had a chance to speak up.
Maybe you're a little frustrated, I mean, how can you be a stronger manager if they don't give you upward feedback?
Wherever you land on the reaction spectrum, the reality is there are 2 reasons your new person isn’t giving you feedback.
Let's look at the reasons and what you can do about them:
Lived Experience
Too Broad An Ask
And first, a quick plug…next week we kickoff Finding Your Leadership Voice, a training course for emerging leaders to learn the fundamentals of leadership. If you have someone on your team you'd like to invest in, we'd love to have them! Details here.
Back to upward feedback…
Lived Experience
Somewhere along the way, they were told, or they quickly learned, to keep their mouth shut.
That might have been from a parent who taught them to keep their head down, do the work, and don't rock the boat.
That might have been a former manager who messed with their trust and taught them a harsh lesson.
That former manager might have asked for feedback and they, having no reason to fear otherwise, shared feedback and then found themselves punished in some capacity.
So what can you do?
Ask.
In my Relationship Kickoff Conversations, I like to ask about their former experience with upward feedback.
It might sound like this:
“I'd love to better understand what your experience has been with upward feedback. I ask because it's important for me to grow and adjust to be the best manager for you that I can be. And part of how I do that is I would like to be able to ask for your input on ideas and ways I can be a better manager and leader for you. So what's been your experience sharing upward feedback in the past?”
And, this next part is really important…
After you ask the question, and they share their previous experience, these are the two words that need to come out of your mouth: “Thank you.”
“Thank you for sharing…”
“Thank you for trusting me with sharing what your experience has been…”
You have an opportunity right here to send a powerful signal of trust. Thanking them immediately increases the likelihood that they will feel you to be a safe space to openly communicate.
(Bonus - if you'd like to see me do this in action, this video showcases the most critical elements of the Relationship Kickoff Conversation. 9:40 - 12:10 is me asking about upward feedback experiences.)
Too Broad An Ask
When we ask, “do you have any feedback for me,” it's too broad.
Should they be looking at our communication style, our presence, our development conversations, our vision?
It's like being faced with a mile long buffet of options.
Then layer in potential power dynamics and it's no wonder it's hardly a fruitful conversation.
Instead, ask more targeted questions:
What 1-2 ideas might you have on how I can more effectively do ____?
I'm really wanting to ensure I'm leading the team through change as well as I can. What are 1-2 things that maybe I could be doing differently?
Thinking about our last sprint, what's one thing I could have done to help you feel more successful?
I've also been known to send them questions ahead of time to let them think:
Something to flag…
It seemed that 75% of the time, I'd get an email response back. But it was important for us to have a dialogue.
When I'd get the email response, I'd reply thanking them and saying that I was looking forward to chatting further in our 1:1.
I want to build trust and safety that these can be conversations and that they aren't scary.
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That's it for today!
What's standing out to you?
What will you be stealing and implementing?
Comment below and let me know!
